Okay so here’s the end of day three. I’ve experienced nauseating panic at least half a dozen times today. Things have changed that I didn’t consider. Little things, unimportant things, but things have changed nevertheless. My life has changed.
Cece used to forward me contest information that she thought I might find useful. Yesterday she started to send me one and realized I didn’t qualify anymore. I’m published. She sent it to me anyway, just for fun, and somehow this caused me a flare of panic. 
Can I tell you what the problem is? (If you’ve bought into the Cinderella story of getting published, read no further.)
The problem is story #2. It’s finished. I’m editing it. It’s taking a long time. So much is being cut, so much is being added. I need to polish it up, spit shine it, send it off. It’s taking time away from story #3, which is only 30 or so pages long at the moment. I’m a pantser. I don’t plot. I don’t use boards. Nothing. It’s all just a grain of an idea and I start to write. The characters take over from that point. There’s a mystery in story #3. Pretty cool, huh? Wish I knew what it was. Not kidding.
So there I am in the shower (you writers know how that goes. Showers=ideas) and I’m thinking of what I need to fix in story #2 and trying to plot out story #3 and I’m thinking of how short an amount of time I have to do this all in. And come on. Let’s be honest. Kate may hate the stories–one or both, who knows? It’s a very good possiblity. Stolen didn’t knock her socks off until I edited the hell out of it, as some of you know. And it went through my cps, I had time to fix it. I’ll barely scrape under the wire with these mss and I doubt my cps will have the time to look at them.
I. Have. No. Time.
And I’m thinking. “I’m a fraud. I’m not a published author. I’m not a Brava author. I HAVEN’T FINISHED THE DAMN BOOK!!!”
Oh Lord. What if Kate hates them? 
Your characters! Like Saskia said! Listen to them and follow their direction. I’m terrified now too, a nd I’m not even published, because I’m doing this really dark, gritty, sensual thing that I’ve never done in my romances before! AND it’s coming to me at a snails pace! Being terrified is scary and exhilarating at the same time–you don’t want to feel hackneyed, that’s even worse!
((Hugs)) You can do it! You can always do more than you think you can.
And Sasha, great job on relaying that information.
Trust in your characters, Sylvia, they’ll get you through this if you stay close with them.
Maybe you’ll find that you work really well under a tight deadline? Look at your track record…8 mss in a year, right? (Don’t make me do the math on that, but you do write fast…)
Deep breaths, because Christmas is adding to the stress, no doubt. You’ll do it, Sylvia. I’m sending karma that Book 3 writes itself quickly and painlessly. I”m also sending shots of tequila for you to bring into the shower with you.:wink:
Plots? We don’t need no stinkin’ plots.
I watched the rerun of the firdt episode of LOST last nite. It was pretty good. But one thign really struck me from it. After this plane crashes and everyone is running around scared, adn freaked out. The main character, Mathew Fox, takes charge and starts helping out. Anyway, afterwards, he goes off on his own, and asks another survivor to sew up HIS own injury. And she says, “You’re not even scared! How do you do that?” He replies by telling her about this important suregery , his first solo one (he’s a Dr.) that he really screwed up. and how TERRIFIED he was. ANd that he made himself a deal.. “I give into the fear…But I only give it five seconds. I let it pour into me until I’m so scared I cant move….and I count…and after five seconds…I HAVE to push the fear aside.”
Yes, I’m paraphrasing. BUT, the point is…let it in. Accept that is OK to be scared. Then push it aside and do what you have to do. WHat, deep down, you KNOW you can do!
And…I’ll have time to read for you …if you want.:)