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March 14th, 2005

Posts in Series for HelenKay Dimon

I just want a good story. Why should you care what I want? Valid question. I’m only one person. My name is HelenKay and I’ll be stopping in as a guest blogger from time to time. This is just my opinion so blame me, not Sylvia. What I think matters a tiny bit - maybe - because in addition to being an unpublished writer (a status that, hopefully, will change at some point) I’m a reader. Big reader. A paperback can cost $3.99 or $14.99 - it doesn’t matter. No complaints here. All the crying about the cost of books drives me batty. Blame the system but buy the book. If the work is good, it’s mine and the next one by the author likely will be too. The B&N reader card is out and ready for action but PLEASE make the trip via car or internet worth the effort.

Being a divorce lawyer (yeah, I know, not very romantic) and dealing every day with folks who spend the equivalent of the cost of a college education fighting to make sure a spouse doesn’t get even one extra overnight per month with the kids, a satisfying romantic read is a must. A way of re-fueling, escaping and smiling again. In general, even though there are notable exceptions, to get from page 1 to page 200, 300 or 400 some things have to happen (or not happen):

1. Any contemporary plot where the heroine is too afraid of any relative (mother, father, grandparent or pet cat) to leave home/leave the family business/marry the guy she wants to marry/get a life, goes back on the shelf. This is an offshoot of the TSTL heroine. I refuse to believe in 2005 that grown women are ruled by what their parents tell them to do.
2. Make men act like men. Give me an alpha male and you’ll have a happy reader. Make him flawed. Make him do and say stupid things. Make him mess up. Heck, he can even accidentally shoot the heroine (so long as she somehow lives to see a satisfying ending) and he still can be a hero. But, make him real. Men do not talk to women the same way they talk to other men. Some men swear. Some men check out women (but not my dh because I’d kick him). Heck, some men even have sex just to have sex and not because of some great burning love (I know, very shocking). Believe it or not, men do not always fall in love with the first pretty chippy to walk under their noses. Lust is normal. Attraction is very cool. So, let’s not skip to forever love in the first 50 pages. That’s not believable.
3. There’s nothing like a hot romance but it’s time to let the contrived circumstances go. Sexy lingerie shops, sexy chocolate shops, sexy bookstores, sexy resorts - I have no idea where these people live but these stories have been done. Find something else. The set-up doesn’t have to shout “sexual situation ahead” in order for these books to work.
4. Contemporary virgin heroines (we won’t even talk about the idea of a virgin hero) aren’t a fav either. I’m not reading a YA book. Don’t want a class on “so, what comes next” because I’ve already survived high school, thanks. Real people. Real sex. Real situations.
5. Amy Garvey is right - any story involving a secret baby must go. Please stop this. Blame Harlequin but we need to put this storyline to bed. During the five years since conception someone would tell these men they’re fathers, wouldn’t they? We won’t even talk about the women and their decision-making abilities.
6. You don’t have to write what you know all the time but if you’ve never seen a cowboy, don’t write about one. Again, Harlequin is responsible for this mess. Bottom line: if the only things that make your hero a cowboy are the stetson and boots, he’s not a cowboy. I shouldn’t be able to take away the hero’s cowboyness simply by taking off his clothing.

I probably have more but I want Sylvia to let me post again so I’ll stop. Thanks for the time to chat. Remember, the B&N reader card is ready and waiting.

HelenKay

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This entry was posted on Monday, March 14th, 2005 at 6:30 am and is filed under Guest Musings, by HelenKay. You can feed this entry. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

13 comments to “Make Me Believe”

Great post, HelenKay. I’m with you on all points across the board!
by Cheyenne McCray March 14th, 2005 at 6:41 am
Hi Cheyenne - a bit long-winded, aren’t I? The entry looked so short on the screen…..
by HelenKay March 14th, 2005 at 7:35 am
No, no - nothing beats my record of being long-winded, so you’re safe there. It’s a great entry. I almost agree with everything you said. The only bit I don’t agree with is that bit about heroines being afraid of their parents/family. I know a couple of fully grown women who “allow” their parents to rule their lives. I had to visit one friend’s parents for them to give me a check-over to make sure that I’d make a suitable friend. I failed the test because I’m a Scot [her father's one of a few remaining people who remember the British Empire [read: British Raj] days; e.g. he’s anti-anythingthatisn’tEnglish]. Anyway, I can believe it, but I don’t like to see it in heroines, though. Definitely not.
Thanks for the great entry!
by Maili March 14th, 2005 at 7:51 am
Great points, HelenKay. I agree that the value of the read should equal the price. Now, if only I could figure out how to avoid struggling all the way through to chapter 4, only to toss the book aside. Reading reviews doesn’t always prevent that.
by Annette March 14th, 2005 at 7:59 am
Hi Annette! Have you tried Erin McCarthy or one of Alison Kent’s SG-5 series? Haven’t thrown any of those yet.

Maili - I agree. I encounter these women through my work sometimes too. Professional women who turn over their paychecks on demand to the hubby and then have no idea what they earn or where the money is - drives me crazy. The personality type exists but I REALLY don’t want to see it in my romance. The Scot thing cracks me up - that’s a new one.
by HelenKay March 14th, 2005 at 9:09 am
I agree with Maili about the parents influencing grown children. It’s much more common in women, but has been seen in men. It depends on how the kids were raised. As an aside, I’ll hear no more talk about Scots. I’m married to one and gasp, prefer them over the British. :grin::wink:
by Jordan March 14th, 2005 at 9:53 am
Whoo Hooo Helen Kay! Great post!
Except the hin my current wip is stuck in a position she doens’t wnat to be in, becasue of fmaily loyalty. LOL But I htink as long as it’s beleivable, adn the reader understands WHY she’s there. It’s cool.
by Sasha March 14th, 2005 at 12:03 pm
Whoa, Jordan! Does that mean you prefer me over Welsh [especially], English and NI people? If so, yay! For that, I like you. A lot!
by Maili March 14th, 2005 at 3:34 pm
Hey, my hero shot my heroine! He even did it on purpose. But (there’s always a but) he did it in a secret baby book.

But Bravo!
by Shannon March 14th, 2005 at 3:40 pm
[...] ene’s Hemingway, Dick & Jane style. And HelenKay’s guest appearance on Sylvia’s blog. Comments » The [...]
by Shannon Stacey » You’ve gotta read… March 14th, 2005 at 4:42 pm
Shannon - Seems to me shooting the heroine is just a unique form of conflict

Hi Sasha & Jordan!
by HelenKay March 14th, 2005 at 5:03 pm
Excellent guest blog, HelenKay!:grin:

You had me LOL at how true your points were:wink:
by Steph T. March 15th, 2005 at 5:37 am
Great post, HelenKay! Hmm. My hero didn’t shoot the heroine, but she saved him from being shot. No secret baby . . . except for the current WIP in which the h is keeping the pregnancy a secret — for the first two chapters anyway, LOL.

Did a virgin heroine, too, but had unique circumstances. Don’t think I’ll ever do it again, though. Too hard.
by Linda March 17th, 2005 at 5:49 pm