I have quite a few friends who complain that I don’t write or call very much. They chastise me regularly, and say they just want to know what I’m up to. They also complain that they had no idea I had another book release. Some aren’t even aware that I have books out yet. To every one of them I say, why don’t you visit my website and see what I’m up to? None of them do. (Well, my mom and dad do. They come by and read my blog. My poor dad had a flaming face 
reading some of my excerpts, but he still checks in to see what’s up with me. My mom won’t read the excerpts, she doesn’t dare. 
)
This really frustrates me. 
Friend - “You didn’t tell me you have another book out!”
Me - “I posted it on my blog, I told my chat loop, I sent out a newsletter. If you stopped by my blog, you would know.”
Friend - “I don’t go to your website.”
Um-kay 
Friend - “What have you been up to lately? How’s the writing? You never call me!”
Me - “You can stop by my blog and read what I’m doing. You can leave a comment, I’ll comment back.”
Friend - “I don’t read your blog.”
Um-kay
It might seem impersonal to tell friends/family to visit my website. But they’re my friends and family. They know I hate the phone. I hate it. 
Talking on the phone sucks ass. Sorry. Some people can spend all day on the phone. Not me. A minute on the phone is too long for me. (Unless you’re one of my cp’s and we’re talking about writing. Then I can talk for hours.)
E-mail is also iffy. I get a TON of mail everyday, hundreds of pieces, as I’m sure every writer does. I often set aside e-mails to reply to them when I can take the time to do so properly. And then I forget. I’m a scattered individual. I have a promotions coordinator who not only has to handle all my promo stuff, but she has to handle me too–sending me reminders of events I’m scheduled for, replying to the same question multiple times, finishing my half-baked ideas. :doh: I. Am. A. Dork. :drool: I suffer from CRS and too many things packed into too little hours.
So the fact is, it’s really not impersonal. It’s a shortcut. Truthfully, those of you who visit my blog daily know more about what’s going on in my life than a lot of my friends do. 
Am I being unreasonable? Have I sunk so far into writer-hermit-dom that there’s no hope for me? Or is it a reasonable request to ask friends to stop by the site occasionally and see what’s new?
I totally loathe the phone. Friends will call, it’ll pop up on the caller ID and I don’t answer it. Shhh…don’t tell them. I’m trying to figure out why I hate the phone and I think because time is precious. Spend an hour on the phone and I’m behind an hour in my writing/obligations around the house.
on October 8th, 2005 at 3:42 am
Vivi,
I totally believe that friends and family should be the first in line to buy your books.
It’s such a small thing, but a HUGE gesture.
on October 3rd, 2005 at 11:32 pm
It’s great to know I’m not alone. I have emails from last year that are still waiting for a reply. I never call anyone anymore. I hardly find the time to do all that needs doing every day as it is. I have no idea how those of you who are published do it (though, I admit, I’d love to find out ;)).
Friends and family should know the kind of person you are and if they’re that interested about when your books are coming out they could at least sub to your newsletter. I mean, if they want an email from you anyway, this should be a no-brainer. I know it’s not personal, but when you’re just starting out you have a ton of things that need your time.
on October 3rd, 2005 at 7:24 pm
Sylvia, I’m with you on this girl! I HATE the phone too. It took everything I had just to call my agent once, and my editor once. Now, I just email…feels better to me!!
And I hear you about friends and family. My friends and family know my website address, my email address, my blog address…if they were really friends, I would think they would’ve shown up at least once….
You know, I HAD friend once, who told me he’d only read my book if I gave him a signed copy…hmmm….:scratch: I thought about that for a long while, and said to myself…some friend.
If I had a friend who published a book, and I do now, I would be the first one at the bookstore buying that book…I would support my friends’ in whatever way I could…
I never understood that person’s attitude, like I should be grateful to him for being able to give him a signed copy of my book that I worked my ass off for with my blood, sweat, and tons and tons of tears!!
Can you tell I’m bitter????
So, I know exactly how you feel!!!
on October 3rd, 2005 at 7:23 pm
Sylvia, great points. I admit I don’t let my family know I have a blog, since I like to whine about them, but I do get annoyed with friends who do know and have no clue what’s up with me.
That said, I always feel incredibly guilty that I’m not the friend who’s always calling or writing or emailing (though I do think of them often). I try. Then again, the door swings both ways.
on October 3rd, 2005 at 3:37 pm
Emma,
my problem is I forget who’s reading my blog. That gets me in trouble sometimes.
Wendy,
I simply don’t have the time or the know-how to do my own promotions. I can tell you that promotions are expensive, and a good coordinator can save you money by negotiating group deals for all their clients. And a promo campaign will NOT work if you wait until the book is out. You have to start months in advance.
Research shows that it takes seven viewings before a stranger registers your name, and 20+ before the sight of your name leads to action. (See your name = buy the product) 20+ times!
So yes, I totally think it’s a good idea to get a promo coordinator, IF you don’t have the time/energy/know-how to do it yourself. There are a lot of authors who successfully handle their own promotions. I’m not one of them. I’m so buried, I wouldn’t get anything done without Lisa.
on October 3rd, 2005 at 2:22 pm
Quite a lot of my friends read my blog [poor things!] and even though I know it, I still get a shock when I meet them in person and they ask me what’s happening with stuff that I’ve blogged about!
Do you think it’s a good idea to get a promo coordinator? It’s something I’ve been thinking about for myself when my new BL book, my EC book and my new reprints start rolling out. I need to put the word around that Portia has new goodies available!
on October 3rd, 2005 at 2:01 pm
I totally agree.
But at the same time, it freaks me out a little bit to know that my parents read my blog. I do find myself sensoring things knowing that friends and family are reading.
on October 3rd, 2005 at 9:45 am
I hate the phone, too. Yuk. I’m the same way–if it’s about writing, it’s okay. I never thought to send my friends to my blog or site, though. Now there’s a thought!
on October 3rd, 2005 at 8:50 am
Yep, I have the same problem. But I realize that some of my friends don’t spend as much time on the computer as I do, and don’t have the time to check up on everyone’s blogs or websites. What I need to do (in my copious free time–hah!) is get into the habit of sending a bulk “what I’ve been up to” e-mail, maybe once/month. I’ll probably preface it with “a much more detailed, interesting version of this exists at [website]“.
on October 3rd, 2005 at 7:33 am
Sylvia - I hear you on this. I don’t like the phone much either, but most of my friends/family ignore my blog. Even though I tell them about it :scratch: They only go if I post new photos of the cats and send them a link
on October 3rd, 2005 at 5:56 am
The same exact thing happens to me all the time. I even have online friends that could read my blog and know everything they ever wanted, and they don’t. I don’t get it either. It’s right there!
on October 3rd, 2005 at 2:41 am